Showing posts with label christmas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label christmas. Show all posts

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Oh Night Divine!

Okay folks... I know it's not Christmas any more, but I recently started chatting with my old online friend Uncle Bob again, and I was looking through his last few blog entries and came across this:



(or download an mp3.)

I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. Just when you think it can't get worse, it does. Several times!

The backstory:
I received a copy of that song at least 2, maybe 3 Christmas seasons ago after hearing it at our youth group meeting.

My friend Chris said that he received the song from the good folks at CIY (Christ In Youth). CIY is an organization that puts on huge youth conferences on college campuses, usually over the summer.

Chris is on one of their leadership committees and the story goes that that recording was circulated amongst the committee after it had been submitted as an audition tape. CIY typically has singing or talent night (at least I remember they used to) and this recording is a serious audition tape. No joke. It's serious.

I play that song every year for my high school students to lighten them up before they take their Fall semester exams. I have heard that mp3 circulate from time to time, most notably hearing it on NPR's Annoying Music Minute a couple of years ago. Now it is truly famous, thanks Steve.

Monday, December 18, 2006

Happy Holidays to my friends, family, associates and loved ones.

For My Liberal Friends:
"Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. "

"We also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the of the generally accepted calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. And without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishes. "

"By accepting these greetings you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself or himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher."

For My Conservative Friends:
"Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year"

Seriously though... Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and a Prosperous New Year, y'all.  I hope this year was as good to you as it was to me.
--
/mark "rizzn" hopkins
For my blog, profile, wikipedia and digg entries, simply Google "rizzn"
Check out Season 1 of Podded Meat, my new Vodcast Network (SFW): http://poddedmeat.com
Check out: http://ModernOpinion.com

Monday, December 11, 2006

The Nativity: A Review

I saw The Nativity the theatre with my wife – my pops picked up AJ and took him and his cousins to Chuck E. Cheese’s. We had originally intended on watching the supposed snuff film Apocalypto, but due to time constraints were unable to make the right showing to be back in time. The only show worth watching that was playing on our schedule was Nativity, so we watched.

One thing I’ll say right off the top – if you’re expecting something as powerful as Mel Gibson’s Passion of the Christ, then don’t see this movie. Don’t get me wrong, it has it’s moments, but it’s not there by a longshot. It’s clearly not written from a Christian perspective, playing heavy on the Magi and King Herod as main characters, and uses that well known Hollywood creative license with the recorded facts in the case. The exact lines that gave me this impression fail to come to mind, but I definitely came away with a “multiculturalized” feel from the movie.

Instead of remaining true to the timeline in the Bible, they re-arrange major details to make the film fit nicely into a two hour timeslot. It makes for a sappy Christmas card setting to portray the Magi appearing at the stable along with the shepherds on that first Christmas Eve as the movie presents it, but the Bible says the Magi visited and saw Jesus at "the house" where Joseph and Mary were residing. Most biblical scholars believe this was at least several months later, perhaps as much as ten to twelve months. This undoubtedly entered into Herod's decision to have all male children two years old and under killed "in accordance with the time he had learned from the Magi." (Matt. 2:16)

But according to the movie's time line, why didn't Herod just have male babies two months old and under killed? Again, for some unknown reason, the movie gives us the impression that the Magi decided on their own not to return to King Herod. Not only would it have been more dramatic, but also biblically accurate if the movie would have shown the Magi telling us that they had been warned in a dream not to go back to Herod, returning to their country by another route. It's a shame that the movie completely disregards this and inaccurately presents this as their own decision.

Cinematically speaking, the efforts to make the Magi amiable are well intentioned, it ends up just being a bit goofy. The gadgets they use in their astronomy/astrology efforts are comical and out of place in this film. Herod's character isn't developed well enough; he was a complex politician, and more insight into his actions would have been useful for the context of the story. Although Herod is generally believed to have been ruthless and barbaric in his efforts to maintain his sovereignty; the film goes overboard, making him a typical psycho stereotype. A few events at the end are compressed in their chronology, although that may be a plus, by showing all the visitors to the newborn Jesus simultaneously.

Overall, I would say that most of the flaws are a result of weak directing. At times it felt fragmented and in-cohesive as a story. I felt like I was watching a moving picture book rather than a movie. The film should have had much more impact than it did. As it is, it feels more of a sentimental story for those who know and love it. But as an evangelical tool that shows the world a glimpse of wondrous news, I believe it falls far short of its potential power.

/rizzn

Wednesday, December 6, 2006

Bad Santa

Deer Santa,
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. I'v ben a gud boy all
yeer.

Yer Friend, Franky

Dear Franky,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawncare. How about I send you a book so you can learn to read and spell? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell. Alot of you on the internet spell the same way. You are too damned old for this so quit it. It's not cute but it is fucking confusing.
Santa



****************************************************
Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is
peace and joy in the world for everybody!
Love, Nichole

Dear Nichole,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?

Santa


****************************************************
Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my
mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
Love, Teddy

Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a
hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream.
Let me send you some Legos instead.

Santa


****************************************************



Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, a Playstation 2, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog,
drum kit, a pony and a tuba.
Love, Francis

Dear Francis,
Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays. I bet you're gay. I'll set you up with a Barbie.

Santa


******************************** *******************
Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for
your reindeer outside the back door.
Love, Susan

Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of Scotch.

Santa

****************************************************
Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys?
Your friend, Thomas



Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know.

Santa

****************************************************
Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song?
Love, Jessica

Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm
skipping your house.

Santa
****************************************************
Dear Santa,
I really want a puppy this year. Please, please, please, PLEASE,
PLEASE could I have one?
Love, Timmy

Dear Timmy,
That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap
doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again.

Santa

****************************************************
Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house. How do you get into our home?
Love, Marky

Dear Mark,
First stop callling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your
ass whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like the boogeyman does, through your bedroom window.

Sweet dreams,
Santa

--
/mark "rizzn" hopkins
For my blog, profile, wikipedia and digg entries, simply Google "rizzn"
Check out Season 1 of Podded Meat, my new Vodcast Network (SFW): http://poddedmeat.com
Check out: http://ModernOpinion.com

Political Musings - Presidential Politics 2008

The following comes to me from Robert Novak:

Much of Republican Washington turned out at the huge Christmas party Monday night hosted by Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) at the Corcoran Art Gallery. Sen. Trent Lott (R-Miss.), the newly elected Senate minority whip, has emerged as a major McCain backer. McCain is not only the front-runner for the presidential nomination but is emerging as the establishment candidate.

Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton (D- N.Y.) passed the word to New York Democrats that she intends to run for President at a time when many Democrats are looking for an alternative. Former Sen. John Edwards (D-N.C.) is campaigning hard, but the biggest threats to Clinton are former Vice President Al Gore (who may never run) and Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.) (who has not made up his mind).

[via the Novak Evans report]

So there you have it – the not surprising analysis from Novak that tells us what we’ve known for months - that these are our political candidates.

Yet, I keep seeing this guy’s ad for president pop up on my GMail ads, and I wonder if he’s going to be a silent runner that makes an impact. It could be interesting.  Then again, maybe not – in some of his interviews, he’s made it clear he doesn’t have a real intention on winning.

/rizzn

Monday, December 4, 2006

Tight Finances and How I Make Ends Meet

Due to the recent wedding, upcoming baby, Christmas, and a couple of mitigating work factors, finances are REALLY tight right now at the Rizzn household...  So much so that I am piecemeal selling my comic book collection.

Those that know me very well are very likely gasping in disbelief.  I'm starting with my indies, and moving into my Batman collection if things are still tight.  As Smokie said the other day, "Welcome to fatherhood, bitch."

So anyways, if you could, I'd appreciate it if you could take a close look at my auctions on eBay, and pick something up for that special comic book nerd this year for Christmas.  At the very least, bid on these items and run the price up so some other comic nerd will pay a premium for these suckas!

Thanks.

Modern Age Comic Book Grab Bag - 55 Comics Total

Spawn #1 by Todd McFarlane - NEAR MINT

Grendel Comics - GOOD CONDITION

ECLIPSE Airboy #1, 11, 15-16, 18, 23-26, 33

Mai the Psychic Girl Manga - #2,11,12,14,15,18,20, 21

Mage from COMICO #9, 10, 11, 12, 14

--
/mark "rizzn" hopkins
For my blog, profile, wikipedia and digg entries, simply Google "rizzn"
Check out Season 1 of Podded Meat, my new Vodcast Network (SFW): http://poddedmeat.com
Check out: http://ModernOpinion.com

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Flag Descration: Amendment Failed

An attempt to amend the U.S. Constitution to allow Congress to prohibit acts of desecration to the American Flag failed to secure the 67 votes necessary to send it to the states for ratification.

In my view, this is the crux of what true freedom of speech means. It means defending even the most despicable verbal comments or harmless acts of protest, including flag burning, even when we find it personally utterly offensive. Any compromise on this position begins that slippery slope to "interpreting" away our individual rights.

The party that was founded to champion liberty, Republican, only showed one member voting against it - Ron Paul. Given his libertarian background, it's not surprising he'd vote this way. What is surprising is that he's the only Republican with an ounce of common sense.

Murray Rothbard had an interesting take on the the whole flag-burning issue which I think resolves the issue with little room for debate:
Keeping our eye on property rights, the entire flag question is resolved easily and instantly. Everyone has the right to buy or weave and therefore own a piece of cloth in the shape and design of an American flag (or in any other design) and to do with it what he will: fly it, burn it, defile it, bury it, put it in the closet, wear it, etc. Flag laws are unjustifiable laws in violation of the rights of private property. (Constitutionally, there are many clauses in the Constitution from which private property rights can be derived.)

On the other hand, no one has the right to come up and burn your flag, or someone else's. That should be illegal, not because a flag is being burned, but because the arsonist is burning your property without your permission. He is violating your property rights.

[via lewrockwell.com]
What baffles me about this whole deal is that I didn't know that there was such a rash of rampant flag burning going on in this country that there actually needed to be a constitutional amendment against the activity.

In other news...
I'm trying to get rid of my last cache of Soundtrack to My Car copies before I come out with the new CD. Wanna give me an early Christmas gifts? I don't need any silver, or diamond tennis bracelets. No sir, I'm cheap. Go click on Buy Stuff up top and buy my CD.

That's it for now. I'll be posting in a bit on the news RE: the Oblong Box.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Just Another Day

Had a semi-productive day. Still putting names on the list for the Alpha Test. If you're interested, mail me at mark@5tribe.com and let me know.

I for one welcome our new robot overlords...
The South Korean government has robot fever, and they're about to unleash a whole army -- literally -- of the mechanized creatures on their public. According to The Korea Times, the country will see the rollout of police and military robots within the next five years, thanks to a newly approved $33.9 million spending appropriation. Patrol bots will guard the streets at night, and even chase criminals, while horse-shaped combat bots will augment the country's fighting force. In both cases, the bots will communicate via Korea's vast mobile network.

To get things rolling, so to speak, Korea will debut a series of household bots in the private sector this October. Unlike domestic bots already released in Japan, the Korean bots will be relatively cheap, since they use the network to perform much of their computational work instead of internal hardware and software.

Yeah, but they probably won't do it right...
Google's made it pretty clear that's it's got advertising aspirations that go well beyond Adsense ads on web pages, looking to sell space in magazines and newspapers and on TV. Don't forget about radio, either, with Google saying it will buy a company that's developed a platform for selling, scheduling, delivering and tracking radio ad spots online. That sounds like Adsense for radio -- so unsurprisingly, Google will integrate it into Adsense to sell radio airtime alongside Web ads. The question remains, though, just how much better and more efficient Google can make radio advertising. The results of its first print ad trials weren't very promising as Google couldn't deliver the same benefits to advertisers that it does online. Radio may not prove much different.

Cox, BigBand Networks extend agreement
BigBand Networks has signed a five-year agreement with Cox Communications that extends Cox's use of BigBand's FastFlow BPM (Broadband Provisioning Manager) to provision Cox High Speed Internet (CHSI) and VoIP-based Cox Digital Telephone services and features. Cox currently uses BigBand's FastFlow to bring other offerings to its broadband Internet, voice and commercial data subscribers. Cox has been a BigBand customer since 2000, using the platform for CHSI, various VoIP-based Cox Digital Telephone launches, RateShaping, HDTV, digital advertising insertion, and Gigabit Ethernet transport of video.

Reminds me of my Nokia Days
Slashdot points us to some research on the negative effects of meetings. For most people, this probably sounds intuitively correct. People are always complaining about the number of meetings they attend, as most aren't particularly helpful. Many are complete wastes of time, often designed more to make it appear like something is being done or some decision is being made, when the reality is that someone is trying to avoid getting something done or making an important decision. Of course, the article doesn't break down the different types of meetings, but one rule of thumb I've heard is that the more "all hands meetings" a company has, the more likely it's in trouble. If you have an all hands meeting every day (and I once worked at a company that did -- and they even claimed it was mandatory), then you know it's time to look for an escape route.

Tidbits from PopBitch
Brad and Ange are getting married on Valentine's Day. Justin Timberlake has told his mum he's "gearing up" to ask Cameron Diaz to marry him. How thrilling.

British tourist Sharon Tendler married a dolphin last week in Eilat. She has been visiting the 35-year old for years and said, "I'm the happiest girl on earth... And I am not a pervert."

Donnie Carroll, the real-life inspiration for the character of Turtle in HBO's Entourage, Mark Wahlberg's buddy, died at Christmas, aged 38, of an asthma attack.

Best holiday season celebrity spot: Crown Prince Albert of Monaco, on the dancefloor at a villa party in Cape Town, "tongue down the throat of a blonde, sporting a pair of beige and black african pyjamas, accessorised with a pair of earplugs, dancing to r&b."

Khashoggi and Energy
While the rest of us were concerned with other matters, some of the wealthiest people on the planet were busy snapping up small, independent power companies.

The repeal of the depression-era Public Utility Company Holding Act made it all possible and allows the big utility holders to take these little money machines–into which tens of millions pay monthly payments–and turn them into massive liquidity pools to buy more utility companies or to trade energy for profit.

The man at the penultimate position of power in this dangerous development is Mayo Shattuck III, a key player on Wall Street. He has just guided an $11 billion deal to create the largest utility merger in U.S. history, having a market capitalization of $28 billion. The new company combines Constellation Energy, of which Shattuck is CEO, and Florida Power and Light, well known for its windfarm development. It will operate in several states and therefore not be subject to state regulation.

Shattuck has been involved in deals with Russian ruble trading, Microsoft, Enron, the Bronfman dynasty and a massive insider trading scandal involving international arms trader Adnan Khashoggi’s Genesis Intermedia just before 9/11.

On 9/11, Shattuck was head of the A.B. Brown unit of Deutschebank AG of Frankfurt, Germany. He took over after his good friend A.B. "Buzzy" Krongard left to serve as number three man in the C.I.A. in 1998.

Shattuck presided as huge "put" options were placed with his bank against United Air Lines stock just before the World Trade Center attacks. "Puts" are bets the price of the stock will fall.

The next day, Shattuck resigned his position, abandoning the latter half of a multi-million-dollar, three-year contract as chairman. He then became CEO of Constellation Energy Group, a rather obscure player in the field. Even more unusual, Shattuck had no background in the energy field.

CEG gained access to Vice President Dick Cheney’s energy task force and also helped refinance the Carlyle Group in its purchase of United Defense Technologies in 2000. The Brown bank has links to the Bush family that stretch back more than 70 years. It helped organize and manage the bank managed by George W. Bush’s grandfather, Prescott Bush. That bank was Brown Brothers Harriman. The federal government, in the World War II era, shut it down for trading with the enemy. The government said Bush and Harriman were giving financial support to Hitler’s regime in Germany.

Shattuck owns 583,964 shares of Constellation Energy, according to Yahoo Finance. Other declared holdings of Shattuck include: Capital One Financial of New York, Capital Source Inc., and Gap Inc., where he holds 14,319 shares.

Quote of the Entry:
Unclespam21: your in florida????
Unclespam21: come on over
Unclespam21: we'll have fun
RznDoUrdn: no, I'm back in Texas now.
Unclespam21: wtf
Unclespam21: your like god danm carmon sandiago
RznDoUrdn: haha
Unclespam21: exept u dont get the endorsments

Saturday, December 24, 2005

The Annual Christmas Haiku


Hello my faithful Rizznites - I hope your year has been at least as good as this one has turned out being for me. It was off to a rocky start... the middle wasn't that great, but it seems to be ending with a bang! I hope you all experience nothing but the best with your family, friends, and loved ones this year.

Saturday, October 8, 2005

Basket Case (Kool Kannon Remix)

Hey guys.  Didn’t intend to do an update today, but I’m getting ready for my trip, cleaning my apartment, and I’m listening to music.  Green Day’s Basket Case comes up on the playlist, followed by a remixed version of Canon in D.  Bizzarre enough, I was struck with inspiration, and I took a break from what I was doing to work on the masterpiece I present to you now: Basket Case (Kool Kannon Remix). (click the link to download).

Yes, yes – retarded I know.  In the spirit of Yet Another Generic Christmas Carol.  But fun, none the less.

Oh, by the way, one of the agencies I report to when I submit video to MSM told me to be on the look out for Johnnie Depp in the Bahamas.  Maybe I’ll snake an interview, or at least a couple paparazzi pictures.

/rizzn

Music on the Turntables Currently: Yo La Tengo - Cherry Chapstick

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Michael Brown's Opening Statement

[Rizzn’s Note: The other day I made a notation on how hard it was to find the transcript of the House hearings today on the federal, state and local response to Hurricane Katrina.  I eventually found them buried in the New York Times website.  I’m going to repost Michael Brown’s opening statement in its entirety today, and then go into some analysis tomorrow.  I think it’s vital that it be read, especially concentrating on the last half of the statements (essentially, the area of his opening statement where he stops talking about how FEMA works, which is important, but not as interesting as the rest).  You’ll discover exactly how atrocious it was that the entirety of the media focused on the ‘sensational’ allegations he made as opposed to his supporting statements.

Incidentally, the blog he referenced in his statement was horseass.org, not JustCheck. The url wasn’t correct as stated, since he was referring to everyone’s favorite lefty wingnut central, the Daily Kos (specifically, Goldy at Horseass, a Kos contributor).  The link to the originator of this is here.]

I just want to start out by saying that, you know, no longer being on the hot seat at FEMA, it is, indeed, a pleasure to be here.

And I want to say also that I agree with you completely regarding the premise of these hearings. Lessons can be learned and should be learned. That was always my philosophy at FEMA. It was what we called a ramp (ph) program, where we always looked, after every disaster, every incident, at remedial actions and what we could do to improve things.

I also want to say that I admire the efforts of many members of this committee, including you, Mr. Chairman, to actually get outside of Washington, D.C., and see what's going on in the field. I think the more you do that, the better information that you will get and the better you will understand what took place, not only in Hurricane Katrina, but what goes in disasters all over this country.

The response of the government at all levels to Hurricane Katrina has come under some criticism. Some of it's valid, and I'll tell you some of it is just not valid.

FEMA must be understood in the context of what we do and how we do it before we decide to start Monday morning quarterbacking what took place, and so I think it's really important to understand what the role of FEMA is and what we do.

Likewise, there have been some criticisms leveled against me personally, and so I would like to take time later in this statement to address some of those.

As everyone on this committee certainly understands, you can't believe everything that you read in the newspapers, or everything that you see on television.

To understand the role that FEMA undertook in Hurricane Katrina and all the other disasters that we have successfully handled throughout my tenure and the tenure of others, it's important to understand the basics of emergency management in the United States.

At its most basic level, emergency management can best be described as a cycle. You first prepare for a disaster. You then respond to the disaster. You recover from the disaster. And finally, you start mitigating against future disasters based on what you have learned.

This cycle is the standard throughout the entire world. It doesn't vary anywhere in the world.

These four pillars that I just described -- prepare, respond, recover, and mitigate -- is how any effective emergency management organization, agency, directorate must be organized in order to be effective and to help citizens in times of emergencies.

Emergency management begins at the local level. Municipal and county governments are best suited to understand the needs and capabilities of their locales. Mayors, city councilmen, county commissioners, county administrators, parish presidents, all of these people are in a unique position to understand both the capabilities of their communities and the vulnerabilities of their communities.

Local governments develop the operations plan by which their communities are going to respond to disasters, either natural or manmade.

State governments have a role. State governments develop emergency operations plans for disasters. They provide liaison support to the local government, and they administer the mitigation programs that the federal government supports at the state and local level.

The reason that this primary responsibility, this first response is at the local level is that it's inherently impractical, totally impractical for the federal government to respond to every disaster of whatever size in every community across this country.

It breaks my heart to think about the disasters that we respond to as FEMA, and to think about also the disasters that we don't respond to -- the small town in Wyoming that has a tornado that wipes out five homes. We don't respond to that, yet those people suffered as much as any other people that we might respond to.

The role of the federal government is not and should not ever be that of a first responder. The role of the federal government in emergency management is generally that of a coordinator and a supporter. The federal government develops national policies and assists the state and locals.

The concept of federalism in this country has long provided the basis by which all levels of government interact. Those principles of federalism should not be lost in the short-term desire to react to a natural disaster of catastrophic proportions, for it is my contention that if we lose that concept of federalism, we will have a breakdown in the local, state, and national emergency management systems, it will inherently drive decision-making to the federal level, it will inherently create a system whereby communities become dependent upon the federal government to respond to all disasters, and that's just not right or workable.

These roles are also fully supported by the basic concept of federalism, recognizing that sovereign states have the primary responsibility for emergency preparedness and response in their jurisdictions.

For example, governors have control over the National Guard. Law enforcement is primarily a local responsibility.

I think if you ask any of your constituents, any citizens in this country, they understand that fire protection, police protection, emergency medical care are clearly a local responsibility.

Now, many may be surprised to learn that FEMA is not a first responder.

Many may be surprised to learn that, guess what, FEMA doesn't own fire trucks; we don't own ambulances; we don't own search and rescue equipment. In fact, the only search and rescue or emergency equipment that we own is a very small cadre to protect some property that we own around the country. FEMA is a coordinating agency. We are not a law enforcement agency.

It has always been my contention that the all-hazards approach is the approach that the federal government should take towards emergency management. By that I mean that if we adopt a cycle of preparing through training, exercises, planning, we respond to disasters with those that we have trained with, exercised with, worked with, we recover through rebuilding and reconstruction, we mitigate by enforcing and helping develop building codes, standards, protocols, retrofits.

If we do all of those things in an all-hazards approach, that means that we can respond to any disaster anywhere, regardless of what causes that disaster, whether it's man-made, natural, or a terrorist event.

But I want to emphasize that if we break that cycle and if we break that concept of federalism, we minimize our effectiveness and maximize our potential for failure.

Every level of government in this country has a role to play, including individuals. Individuals must take personal responsibility for being prepared. First responders may not be able to get to them quickly.

And in fact, in speeches that I give all over the country when I talk about preparedness, I always ask individuals this: Do you want to be the person that causes the first responder to either lose their life or become injured because you didn't take the basic steps yourself as an individual to be prepared? Individuals have a responsibility in this system of emergency management also.

Local governments must be prepared to respond just as well, because, as simple as it seems, disasters always occur in local communities. Locals are the first responders, and they have the primary responsibility to respond on behalf of their communities.

The emergency management cycle that I have described does not exist in FEMA today because of it's just wishful thinking. It exists because we recognize that only through our partnerships, with state and local governments, can we be effective. And only through those partnerships can we actually respond and come in and help them coordinate and assist them when disaster strikes in their communities.

FEMA cannot come in and be the first responder, but we can come in and help them train and exercise and learn how to do their job and be prepared for any kind of disaster.

People in the country might be surprised to learn that FEMA is a very small agency. They hear that FEMA is part of the Department of Homeland Security. The Department of Homeland Security has over 180,000 employees, and a budget of some $42 billion.

FEMA has less than 3,000 employees. And if you take away the disaster relief fund, we have an annual operating budget of less than $1 billion dollars.

We are a very small organization within a very large organization.

But despite that, despite that contradiction in the size, I believe that FEMA is an honest broker that can effectively bring to bear the resources of the federal government to help state and local governments when they are responding to disasters.

What happens when we do that? When FEMA responds, we become a partner with the state. We establish a unified command structure -- a unified command structure that has worked well throughout 150-plus disasters that I have overseen since being at FEMA.

This unified command structure allows the federal, state, and local governments to work hand-in-hand, recognizing the strengths and weaknesses of each level, distributing the resources and assets according to how they can best be utilized, and recognizing the strengths and weaknesses of the state, federal and local governments so we can best respond to help our citizens.

And it is only through such a unified command structure, coupled with an incident management system within that unified command structure -- and actually, an incident command structure has been recognized by fire departments and the Forest Service and others for decades in this country.

But it is only through that kind of unified command structure that we can be successful when we respond to a disaster.

That's FEMA. It's not a first responder. It's a coordinator. It's an honest broker.

But what was our role during Hurricane Katrina? FEMA began monitoring Tropical Depression 12 long before it became a hurricane -- almost a full week before it made landfall in Louisiana. FEMA prepositioned supplies, equipment and manpower in areas where they were out of harm's way so that that equipment and that manpower would not itself become a victim of Hurricane Katrina.

We prepositioned those assets so that we can move them in rapidly when it's safe to do so.

FEMA conducted daily video teleconferences to learn the states' needs, to find out what we could do to best help them coordinate their response, and to respond to any requests that the states might have made of us that they needed in being prepared.

The hurricane liaison teams worked closely with the National Hurricane Center -- FEMA people actually in the National Hurricane Center to provide us the most updated information so we would know what we could tell the states and what the states needed to know.

We established several mobilization centers throughout the Gulf states. Again, these mobilization centers were not in downtown New Orleans. They weren't in Pascagoula. They were located out of harm's way so they themselves would not become disaster victims -- and we could move in after the hurricane made landfall.

FEMA activated and deployed the national disaster medical teams. We activated and deployed the urban search and rescue teams. We activated and deployed the rapid needs assessment teams. We activated and deployed the emergency response teams to all of the potentially affected states.

We sent federal coordinating officers, our eyes and ears on the ground, to each of the state emergency operation centers in Alabama, Florida, Mississippi and Louisiana prior to landfall, so that we could know everything that the state needed to know, that they could convey back to us.

The American Red Cross, one of our partners, established shelters and feeding stations in each of the affected areas. The National Emergency Assistance Compact, EMAC, was activated, so that other states, in partnership with FEMA and the affected states, could move supplies and resources in.

I want this committee to know that FEMA pushed forward with everything that it had, every team, every asset that we had, in order to help what we saw as being a potentially catastrophic disaster. FEMA was prepared to fulfill its role as a partner in responding.

The way that FEMA works with state and local officials is well-established, and it's worked well. FEMA designates the federal coordinating officer to go to the state emergency operations center so that from that moment on, from the moment that our FCO, that federal coordinating officer, lands in an emergency operations center, he or she is hooked up with the state coordinating officers, so that we can have a unified command structure and we can know what the states need and we can start reacting to that before the disaster occurs, before the hurricane makes landfall.

These two persons in the ideal situation work together in the same room. They sit at conference tables like this. They know what they need to do. They work as a team. They feed those requests, those requirements into the emergency support functions, such as transportation, mass care, energy, so that we know what they need, and we can respond and help them get the assets they need.

When the needs are identified, the coordinators assess that, so we know where best to utilize those resources and where to send them.

This is exactly -- exactly -- the approach that FEMA used in 2004 to the historic four hurricanes that struck Florida. This is exactly the approach that FEMA used during the Columbia space shuttle disaster that stretched all the way from Texas through New Mexico, Arizona and California. This is exactly the system that FEMA used in the historic outbreak of tornadoes in the Midwest, where small communities were obliterated from the face of the earth. And this is the exact system that FEMA used in the outbreak of wildfires in California in 2003.

I emphasize that because it is also the same unified command structure that FEMA used in Mississippi, in Alabama, and Florida this year when we responded to Hurricane Katrina.

Unfortunately, this is the approach that FEMA had great difficulty in getting established within Louisiana. This exact approach worked well in Mississippi and Alabama and Florida. I had some of our best, most competent coordinators in those states, in all of the states, to do everything we could to assist them.

In retrospect, I got to tell you that I am very glad that on Sunday morning I was on the news shows talking, and I was pushing my staff to find out, has the governor of Louisiana, has the mayor ordered a mandatory evacuation? We could not get the definitive answer that they had or they were going to.

So I went on the news shows Sunday morning, and I said, uncharacteristically of me, that I don't care what the governors are saying and I don't care what the mayors are saying, if you live in New Orleans, evacuate and get out of that city now.

I assume that today some of you are going to ask me whether I did all that I could, or whether I would have done anything differently. The answer is yes. Of course. And I want to talk about that, because we can always improve how we respond to disasters.

I do believe there are a couple of specific mistakes that I made that I want to put on the table right now.

First, I failed initially to set up a series of regular briefings to the media about what FEMA was doing throughout the Gulf Coast region. And instead, I became tied to the news shows, going on the news shows early in the morning and late at night, and that was just a mistake. We should have been feeding that information to the press and in the manner and in the time that we wanted to, instead of letting the press drive us.

Second, I very strongly personally regret that I was unable to persuade Governor Blanco and Mayor Nagin to sit down, get over their differences and work together. I just couldn't pull that off.

I want to spend just a minute, Mr. Chairman, if I can, to discuss a little bit about the personal charges that have been leveled against me.

While FEMA was trying to respond to probably the largest natural disaster in the history of this country, a catastrophic disaster that the president has described covering an area the size of Great Britain -- I have heard 90,000 square miles -- unless you have been there and seen it, you don't realize exactly how bad and how big it was -- but in the middle of trying to respond to that, FEMA's press office became bombarded with requests to respond immediately to false statements about my resume and my background.

Ironically, it started with an organization called horsesass.org, that on some blog published a false, and, frankly, in my opinion, defamatory statement that the media just continued to repeat over and over. Next, one national magazine not only defamed me, but my alma mater, the Oklahoma City University School of Law, in one sentence alone leveling six false charges.

But that was just a prelude to what was to come. Time magazine then called the press office while I was in Baton Rouge trying to coordinate the response and was told that I supposedly embellished my resume and was given 45 minutes to respond to their story.

BROWN: The story wasn't true, but apparently that doesn't matter. For almost 20 years, you see, I have worked in state, local and federal government.

I started out as an intern while I was in undergraduate school in the city of Edmond, Oklahoma, which at the time was the fastest growing city in Oklahoma. We were issuing sometimes upwards of 1,000 building permits per month. That's a lot of growth.

I started out as an intern in the planning office. I then became the assistant to the city manager, where I was liaison to the Emergency Services Division, the police and fire departments. I ended up drafting the emergency operations plan. I ended up putting together with a committee the emergency operations center. I worked closely with the emergency, fire and police departments.

I went on those runs, and I know what it is like to see a family's house burn to the ground because they weren't ready, they had a Christmas tree that was faulty, lights that were faulty. I know what it's like to see men and women in police and fire departments put their lives on the line.

I have represented cops throughout my legal career. I have represented police departments. I guess I did a good enough job in negotiating on behalf of the city of Edmond during their labor relations that later the unions came and asked me to negotiate on their behalf.

You see, I get it when it comes to incident command systems. I get it when it comes to emergency management. I know what it's all about.

But if that's not enough, I came to FEMA as general counsel. As general counsel, I had to learn about all of the programs in FEMA. I had to understand what all of this emergency management cycle at the federal level was about.

I was then asked by the president after September 11, and running operations from FEMA headquarters on September 11 to become the deputy director.

I have overseen over 150 presidentially declared disasters. I know what I am doing. And I think I do a pretty darn good job of it.

The media even claimed that -- falsely stated I was never an adjunct professor. I find that funny because there's a gentleman in the room right now who has represented me on many occasions that I actually asked to come in and fill in for me one time and come and speak to my class that I was teaching. So maybe we're both hallucinating about teaching that class, but I did teach law school. And, in fact, I taught legislation and I taught state and local government law. I know how municipal governments work.

Interesting, Time then quoted my employer, one of my first employers after law school, and said I had done a lousy job. I guess they wanted me in the middle of the disaster to run back to Virginia, dig through my papers and find the personnel records that talked about the outstanding job that I had done.

But I guess it's the media's job. But I don't like it. I think it's false. It came at the wrong time. And I think it led potentially to me being pulled out of Louisiana, because it made me somewhat ineffective.

BROWN: My experience at FEMA has been one of the greatest privileges of my life. The men and women of FEMA -- every single one of them are dedicated to the mission of saving lives, sustaining lives, of building and keeping this robust emergency management system working as well as it can.

FEMA has faced some trying times. If you think it's difficult to merge Compaq and IBM -- ask Holly (ph) what she thinks of that -- try to merge FEMA into the Department of Homeland Security, and then try to reorganize that again from having been an independent agency.

The people of FEMA are tired. The people of FEMA are tired of being beat up -- and they don't deserve it. The men and women of FEMA, the career civil servants, the career people that I work with are dedicated to doing the absolute best they can to help communities because they chose to come to work at FEMA. And they deserve better than what they are getting.

Mr. Chairman, it's my belief that FEMA did a good job in the Gulf states. We could do things better. We could improve them. And I hope that, through these hearings, we can find ways to not only improve FEMA and make it better, but that we can strengthen the emergency management system in this country.

Mr. Chairman, I would be happy to answer any questions that the committee might have.

 

Friday, September 9, 2005

Jason Friedman is a Jerk, Part II

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Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Google Trap/Memory Lane Entry

I was chatting with Joel via email, and he asked me how we met in Middle School.  It started me on a long run down about what I knew about who from back then.  I figured I’d post it up here to act as a Google trap to any of the old crew I’ve lost contact with, in case they were to ego-search and find the page.  It’s worked in the past, so hey, why not. It’s been edited a little bit to protect a few of the guilty (it’s not like you’d know the names anyways, quit yer bellyaching).

Joel: …refresh my memory of that how we met in middle school, Matthew said it involved some ass giving us trouble, I don't remember frankly, but out of all the people I knew in middle school, you and James K. are the only ones I kept up with.  I still get bummed once in a while thinking about James. Its funny though that now, 14 years later, we're still good friends.

Me: Last time I heard from C—, it was back in 1999 or so, when I hired him to be on the sales team at Cox Communications.  He was going down to Houston for school, and then married some chick down there.  I haven’t heard from him in years, and he’s one of the few people I don’t search out from those days to get the skinny on.  Color me uninterested.

John Wiseman is, as far as I know, still living in Arizona.  He moved down there to be closer to his sister, if memory serves, who then got married and moved out of the state.  He stayed behind, got into acting on commercials for a while, and decided that despite the fact that he had a degree in Computer Science (and is QUITE the impressive nerd in that respect), he wanted to do graphic design.  He’s going to school for 3d Animation now. His parent’s phone number is STILL XXX-XXX-XXXX, which he is trackable through.  As soon as I said that, you most likely remembered it.  Ask me an interesting story about that phone number some time.  It’s quite mysterious. 

Todd Lloyd I spoke to about four years ago.  He was doing quite well for himself in a Ren Faire troupe.  Haven’t heard from him recently though.  He graduated SFA from the Theatre Dept. 

Jamie Crain ended up being a Tylerite, though and through.  He went to TJC, and is pretty much bumming around the East Texas area from what I get through the grapevine.  He hooked up with a different crowd in college, so I stopped hanging out with him.

Curt Dewitt I haven’t heard from in ages (he became a ‘hick’ the last part of middle school, I think).  That Kevin McSomething or other I haven’t heard from since he moved to Nacodoches in 10th grade.  Chris Wooddell I haven’t talked to in about six years or so, but right out of high school he married an internet sweetheart of his, and they were quite happily married (which was odd at the time – almost a novelty).  She was a hottie, too.  They lived in Tyler last I heard, but again, 8 years ago. 

As to the other people tertiary to our middle school clan, M——- L—— went to Centenary College, and from what I heard became the town slut.  That’s what my ex-girlfriend told me when we were going out (she was a Centenary attendee as well). Steven Shogry I just ran into last Christmas (remember, he played a Goblin (thanks to C——- being an ass) in our last (and his only) D&D ‘campaign’ right before we switched to BattleTech). He’s actually joined the Rangers.  He’s a staunch Democrat, and he cried when Bush won the last election. 

Most of the other people I periodically monitor are from high school, and are doing about how you would have predicted they might. 

As to how we met, interestingly enough, it was Jamie Crain who put the crew together.  He knew John Wiseman from Elementary School, and he met me in 6th grade English.  He met Chris Wooddell in Math class, and we all started eating lunch together and playing D&D.  Wooddell would DM.  I stayed more or less under the radar until 7th grade or so, when I started getting beat and harassed fairly often by some jerks from P.E.  I’m not sure if you remember, but I was about 5’3” and 70lbs exactly. One of bigger guys who would pick on me often was this behemoth name Bubba.  I don’t know if you recall Bubba, but he was the only middle school kid who could legally drive a car – when they were in fifth grade.  I think he was in his mid-20s or so.

At any rate, remember that rock/mall area?  It was the place that was shaped like a triangle between the buildings and the basketball court near the bandhall and gym, and it had those benches made from some unidentifiable recycled material.  I was on that walkway going towards the library, most likely to check out some stupid magic book with Jamie, and Bubba started pushing me around.  Matthew, as I recall, put himself between me and Bubba, and used a word with two or more syllables in it and it completely shut the dummy down.  It was after that you guys started hanging out at our lunch table. 

Ahh, memory lane.

/rizzn

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

An email forward I just got. A little cliche, but contains a few valid points.

I think this is great

If the US government determines that it is against the law for the words "Under God" to be on our money, then, so be it.
...............................................................................
And if that same government decides that the "Ten Commandments" are not to be used in or on a government installation, then, so be it.
...................................................................................
And since they already have prohibited any prayer in the schools, of which they deem their authority, then so be it.
....................................................................................
I say
"so be it," because I would like to be a law abiding US citizen.
......................................................................................

I say, "so be it,"
because I would like to think that smarter people than I are in positions to make good decisions.  I would like to think that those people have my best interest at heart.
.....................................................................................
BUT, YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I'd LIKE?

......................................................................................
I'd like my mail delivered on Christmas, Good Friday & Easter & Sundays.

...............................................................................
I'd like the US Supreme Court to be in session on Christmas, Good Friday, and Easter as well as Sundays.
...............................................................................
I'd like the Senate and the House of representatives to not have to worry about getting home for the "Christmas Break."
................................................................................
I'm thinking that a lot of my taxpayer dollars could be saved, if all government offices & services would work on Christmas, Good Friday, Easter & Sundays.  It shouldn't cost any overtime since those would be just like any other day of the week to a government that is trying to be "politically correct".
...................................................................................
This would not effect any "non-governmental" business since everyone else still has the freedom of religion, we could all still enjoy our holidays.
....................................................................................

So I guess if they continue to bow to the wishes of the few, and if this email gets out to the right people, maybe they would bow to the wishes of the many.
....................................................................................

So be it...............Amen and God Bless

Tuesday, June 1, 2004


Picture of Stacy (my ex) from Christmas 2002. Posted by Hello

Monday, March 29, 2004

Astrology is bullshit. Astrology is bullshit. Astrology is bullshit.

Self healing? Self healing was perfected by Rambo in Rambo: First Blood when he stitched his arm shut after he cracked a kid's back while jumping off a cliff (and the only reason his arm split open was because he's so tough he wanted to make the bad guys think they had a chance, but yeah right.. it was like Rambo sent them all Christmas cards, but instead of cards it was murder).

[Read More]

Thursday, February 19, 2004

Chastity Belt Sets Off Airport Metal Detector

» From the Sex Toy Department

"When a 40-year old British woman set off a metal detector's alarm at Athens airport, bemused security staff found that it was caused by a chastity belt she was wearing... 'It happened a few days before Christmas. The metal detector went off and after a further check we found out she was wearing a chastity belt,' airport police official Dimitris Tzouvaras told AFP, confirming a report in the daily newspaper To Vima... According to the press report, the woman told police officers her husband had forced her to put on the belt to make sure she had no extra-marital affair during a brief visit to Greece." — Independent Online (South Africa)


The thing you really want to know is whether officials forcibly removed the chastity belt. The story doesn't say exactly, though it implies that they didn't — the woman was allowed to fly back to London "on the pilot's responsibility," which makes it sound as though the pilot accepted the responsibility of allowing the woman to keep on her chastity belt. But if that were the case, wasn't it really a breach of airline security? How could they be sure, in these troubled times, that she didn't have plastic explosives packed into her vagina? Put a match to her pubes and the whole plane could explode...


[via PervScan]

Wednesday, February 11, 2004

My Boss Sent Me This Today

My Boss Sent Me This Today

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.



On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.

(And that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)



On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner!  No purchase necessary.  Details inside.

(The shoplifter special?)



On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."

(And that would be how???....)



On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."

(But, it's "just" a suggestion).



On Tesco's Tiramisu Dessert (printed on bottom): Don't turn upside down."

(Well...duh, a bit late, huh!)



On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."

(...And you thought????...)



On packaging for a Rowenta Iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."

(But wouldn't this save me more time?)



On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."

(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)



On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."

(And...I'm taking this because???....)



On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."

(As opposed to...what?)



On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."

(Now, somebody out there, help me on this.  I'm a bit curious.)



On Sainsbury's Peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."

(Talk about a news flash.)



On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."

(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)



On a child's Superman costume:"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

(I don't blame the company.  I blame the parents for this one.)



On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."

(Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Wednesday, February 4, 2004

I had to quote this blogentry because it contains the word "fucktard."


has sims who are idiots


I got The Sims for Christmas, as per my request [...] and I have the dumbest fucktard Sims ever. I created two of my own and the dumbass househusband keeps setting the damn house on fire. I bought them two stoves in one day.


 

 

Tuesday, January 20, 2004

Pictures from the Office Christmas Party.