Ewoks an Droids

Yub nub,
eee chop yub nub,
ah toe meet toe pee-chee keene,
g'noop dock fling oh ah ----

Yah wah
eee chop yah wah;
ah toe meet toe pee-chee keene,
g'noop dock fling oh ah ----

Coat-ee chah tu yub --- nub;
coat-ee chah tu yah --- wah;

coat-ee chah tu glo --- wah;
al-lay loo ta nuv ---

Glow-ah,
eee chop glow-ah;
ya glow-wah pee chu nee foam
ah toot dee awe goon daa ----

Coat-ee cha tu goo;
(Yub nub!)
coat-ee cha tu doo;
(Yub wah!)
coat-ee cha tu too;
(Ya chaa!)
al-lay loo ta nuv ----
al-lay loo ta nuv ----
al-lay loo ta nuv ----
AL-LAY LOO TA NUV!!!

/rizzn

chung chung goes the reunion

Dear Diary

I update yet again, right before I get kicked out of the office. I am waiting for my ride, and admiring the pretty dallas nighttime skyline.

I read this entry. People. You just can't make this stuff up -- this is why we don't do e.

I mean I enjoy a good extasy roll as much as the next guy, but people who say that there are no long term effects to habitual eating of e have never met people like ectasyraver.

I need to take a whiz. BRB.

---

Hrmm. Well. On to topics that people say "I didn't need to know that" about.

I have been feeling like I need to get with a girl lately. I don't know why. Right now is a horrible time financially for me to get with a girl. I have all kinds of money sunk into nutshellonline.com (please people, buy service!) It's a horrible time resource wise, in that I'm spending tons of time working on work things and getting the businesses going.

Plus, I'm about to be a millionaire. I mean, I'll have chicks all over me at that point.

Maybe it's my biology going, hey, you are about to be a millionaire, so why not find a girl who likes you for you now and not for your money.

By the way, that's no sh!t about being a millionaire. Right now, I'm assured with about 90% degree of accuracy that I'll be a millionaire between 3 and 18 months.

Which is something I've been having weird dreams about.

Talk about weird dreams! Did I tell you about the dream I had that had triangle man in it? I had a dream that triangle man was teaching me to fly. And all my friends were hanging out with me and triangle man. And the we started getting picked on so I flew up about 65 feet, picked up one of the bullies, and dropped him.

He squished.

And then there was this dream that I went back to my 10 year reunion for highschool and I was super successful, and all the girls that never talked to me then were all like, well, this is really sexist, but they all wanted to suck my penis. !!!

I'm not joking ... all these snobby girls whose parents were snobby were all like hitting on me, and being crude and saying, "wow, if only I had sucked your dick in high school, I'd be your wife and I'd be even richer!"

Y'see, the highschool i went to had mostly rich people in it. So everyone was high and mighty. My dad made a lot of money but it wasn't old money, he was new blood to the town so we weren't 'in' -- my parents always told me that the snobby kid's parents behaved just like the kids!

That's something that blows my mind. My parents may be crazy, but the know how to act in public. They could fit in with rich people and not embarrass themselves. Why would people of my parents age not accept one another?

Just goes to show you that there are no such thing as grown ups in this world, just bigger kids.

That's the secret of the game, and when you realize that, you can manipulate everything you see!

I'm going to wait outside in the coldness for my ride now... cya

/rizzn

Quote of the Entry: "Chung Chung Chung, Magitek Armor!"
- crackbaby

dairy erotica can make you money

Dear Diary,

Is it just me or are more and more people putting erotica (the nice name for sex stories) in their diaries?

No one in my immediate circle has it in there (no one on my people that beat ass) but as soon as I mention that I'm sure they will.

Well, take that back, reality has, I think. And then ladiebug did it. and there's this whole diary called mysexlife devoted to it. The day uncle bob, kelly or dread start writing erotica is the day to start looking for the four horsemen.

Hee hee. You know, if I start noticing a growing trend of people writing erotica, you know I'm going to butcher it in an attempt to be funny about it. I seem to be good at writing children's book style stories (I don't know, maybe because I feel like a 6'4" kid most the time), but I think a sex story written in children's book style would be hilarious, if not bordering on a major no-box check.

I've been linking things in my diary like crazy lately. Notice that? I think I'm going to write a program that is going to link every single word on a page of text to something relavant.

Just because I like to waste time.

People could use it and it would be a valuable service.

Yeah. I think of money making (read: time wasting) site ideas all the time!

/rizzn

Quote of the Entry: "SO I finally got a diary yay!The first time I tried going to this site I went to dairyland."
- starryangel

Politics: the biting snatch of truth!

Dear Diary,

I was on the floor today at work in front of the copy machine. Why was I on the floor? WEll, our jicky little printer/copier I was using for copying like 700 pages for a code review on our ringtone site is a POS, and requires someone to hold up the paper so it doesen't jam.

Luckily, I'm an inventive individual, and I got a plastic knife to replace me. I downsized myself.

At any rate, the point of me bringing up me being on the floor is that it reminded me once of when I was a kid, and we were at Foley's department store, and my mom was trying on clothes in the women's dressing room, and I was on the floor outside of it waiting for her. I looked into the dressing room area just as this lady with a short skirt and black panty hose or stockings or something walks out and points at me scoldingly and says "I saw that!" and walks off hastily.

I remember feeling so bad because I wasn't really looking up her skirt. And I told my mom that a lady told me I was looking up her skirt and I really wasn't, and she told me not to worry about it. I didn't feel so bad about it then.

---

There is this Russian chick who works in the office across from mine who's skirt I'd like to look up, but she'd probably catch me, and I'd have to tell my mom to recieve absolution.

---

Hey Malk, haven't you been listening to what the Democrats have to say about Ralph Nader?

"A vote for Nader is a vote for Bush."

I've already stated that I was going to vote for the hulk, however in all seriousness, I'll probably vote for Bush, and let me tell you why.

Unfortunately, it's the only vote that makes sense. If I vote for Gore, I might as well stab myself in my cock because in undoubtably would result in the death of the internet. His policies on control of the internet make 1984 look like a toy poodle compared to the werewolf he would impliment. Anyone who believes as much of his own propaganda as the Goremeister is about as delusional as ... well, Bill Clinton.

Ralph Nader? Well, his economic politics are just plain absurd, and would also hurt our service based economy horribly. If it were up to Nader, we'd be an isolationist 2nd world nation. Sure, he's got some good ideas. I won't even get into that drug thing... well, okay, I will.

But not now.

Buchanon is the only fellow that is the perfect match for me in office. He's not nearly as horrible as the media makes him out to be. He was just an easy target in the 1996 elections, what with it being all trendy to bash the Christian Coalition (one of his bigger supporters of the time) and everthing. Econimically, he's got a few bad ideas (i.e. removal from nafta and wto ... but for very good reasons), and his conspiracy theories are based on the same facts mine are based on, and he comes to the same conclusions. And that's the main reason why he won't ever be elected. Is because he talks about them openly and they are public knowledge.

But then that delves into my conspiracy theories.

Which I will talk about some other time (gee, I've been promising that for what 11 months now?)

Basically, I won't vote for Buchanon because I know he won't get elected. He's not going to magically come up with 57% of the popular vote in a few days here.

Bush, he's the one to do the least amount of damage in office. He hasn't done bad at all for our state. Whole hell of a lot better of a governer than that pill-popping stupid wench we had before him. (Ann Richards, for you people who aren't familiar with Texas Politics).

Texas has done much better with Bush as governor. Of course, governors do as much for state affairs as, well, presidents do for national affairs. Which is about nothing.

I mean really, all we are voting for here is a figurehead. Which president is likely to least appear like an ass on international platforms. Figure that question out and you find out who you can vote for.

Or you can vote your conscience.

Or you can vote for Hulk Hogan.

(considers that thought for a good 15 minutes)

/rizzn

Quote of the Entry: "Very interesting, not far into the movie a woman that this guy was copulating with turned into a spider and when he escaped there were great knashing teeth where her snatch should have been."
- uzume
(ed: NO NO NO!)

poke poke, rambling!

Dear Diary,

Erwin Schrodinger's cat enigma could be solved with a simple modern invention.

Plexiglass.

The description of Schrodinger's Cat:

"In 1935 Schrodinger published an essay describing the conceptual problems in a brief paragraph in this essay he described the cat paradox."

"The cat finds itself inside a box along with a technical gizmo that sends a photon towards a filter and records whether the photon passes through or not. If it doesn't, nothing happens. If it does, the photon trips a device that breaks open a vial of poisonous gas, and the unfortunate cat dies. The experiment is set up so that there's a fifty-fifty chance of the photon passing through the filter. Accordingly, once you open the box and look inside, there's a fifty-fifty chance the cat will jump out. "

"That's all very well. The difficulty arises, as Schroedinger pointed out in 1935, when you start wondering what was happening inside the box after the photon measurement was made but before anyone lifted the lid. It's simple enough to say that the gizmo delivered a photon, the photon either passed through the filter or it didn't, the vial of poison was broken or not, and the cat died or stayed alive. "

"Once the photon hit the filter, a quantum measurement was made, and subsequent events ensured that after that time the box contained either a dead cat or a live cat. But that assumes that the photon striking the filter was enough to constitute a measurement. What if, on the other hand, it takes human observation to trigger the measurement? In that case, it would appear, the cat must have been in some indefinite quantum cat-state, neither dead nor alive but potentially either, until someone opened the box to see. But what can it possibly mean, if anything, for a cat to be in some undefined half-dead, half-alive state? "

End quoting.

So at the very worst of the worst scenario, where it is the whatif the cat must be observed yaddah yaddah, make the box out of plexiglass or glass. Problem solved. Altogether, a ridiculously easy paradox, and the crux of the problem is thus: What Schrodinger was saying, at least from what I can interpret, is that how can we know what reality is if we can't precisely measure exactly every property of it? What I say is we make assumptions, not uneducated but educated assumptions on what reality is until we have perfected the measurement techniques to define it.

But let me say this. Sure, reality isn't readily defineable in all aspects. We don't know exactly what makes gravity work. But say I adopt the belief that gravity doesn't apply to me. Because what's true for you doesn't have to be true for me. And say I sincerely believe this with all my heart.

I think we all agree that I will probably hold true to that belief up until the time I hit the pavement after I've stepped off the 9th floor balcony here at work.

I can sincerely believe things, and be sincerely wrong.

I cannot say simply because I don't fully understand something that it can't be accepted as a reality that applies to all people. To do so is folly. There are inalienable facts about this universe that apply to all people. I don't know all of them. I know a couple of them. I don't understand all, nay, even a fraction of them. But I'm willing to bet my life they exist and willing to admit I maybe wrong about a few.

But based on the evidence I see, I draw what I see to be safe conclusions about certain facts that I hold true. Among these are a) If I fire a bullet into my skull, there will be a hole thru my head where the bullet traveled thru it b) If I try to break the law of gravity from the top of a building, I will die c) the way I interpret things of a spiritual nature are correct in total, all these things based on the evidence I have observed.

If I don't believe these things, it will be detrimental to me in the end. These are all my subjective perceptions of reality. Based upon objective evidence. If I based all my perceptions of reality my beliefs would be a) I can fire bullets into my head and they might bounce off b) I can leap buildings in a single bound if I want c) everybody is right about what they believe concerning God and spirituality.

But you see, I hold a belief that I am right, and someone who disagrees with me is wrong. I don't hate the people who are wrong, just that they drew different conclusion based on the evidence they see or didn't really observe the evidence.

Naturally, I think it would be a better world if everyone believed my way, but that's just a panacea in my mind. I know I can't convince everyone to think the way that I do. All I can do is offer the objective evidence that a) reality does exist b) what I think about crucial aspects of reality is actually true and c) now doesn't that feel better now that you are right for a change?

Hehheh

Anyways, enough rambling. I'm actually just trying to avoid staring at my cube walls for hours endlesly. Send me some email! I'm bored!

/rizzn

Quote of the Entry: "poke poke, forkface!"
- celine

No Box!

The great pumpkin is really satan.

Dear Diary,

Read my email:

 Wrote: 
>dear rizzn,
>oh, for about forever!
>do you live in texas? i don't live in texas. thank you, texas.
>- celine.
>-
>http://celine.nodata.org
>>
>> Dear Celine,
>>
>> It is amusing that you thought I was a girl, but praytell
>exactly .how long you have thought that I was a girl?
>>
>> I don't hate you. :)
>> --
>> Rizzn.
>>>dear rizzn,
>>>
>>>it is funny (i suppose.), all this time i thought you
>>>were a girl.
>>>
>>>please don't hate me! i didn't mean it.

Crack is great.

Malkavia wrote today about the bottom of the literary foodchain.

People in the world always targeting comics as the bottom of the literary foodchain. I never get it. Comics are great! I mean look at all the great things about Batman!. Batman is from a comic. Batman can teach us great things! Why are comics so bad then? Hrmm?

But seriously, Malk's big point was that Jack Chick, this fellow behind chick.com that apparently writes Christian tracts is a liar. I must admit, I'm one of the most ardent Christians I know, but I'm not familiar with Jack Chick's great works, and this comic about halloween was the first bit of work I've seen of his.

From reading this entertaining work of fiction, I am honestly able to say that Jack Chick is not guilty of lying about witches, of which Malk acuses him of being. Let's analyze his comic for a bit.

(note: for those getting pissed off, skip to the last paragraph if you just can't stand it anymore before you send me hate mail. but read the whole thing, trust me on this, you guys know how I am. :)

What Jacky-boy says is "To satanists and witches, Halloween is no joke."

Truth. It's an actual event for both groups.

"As we get closer to the Second Coming of Jesus Christ ... Satanism will increase. So will human sacrifice."

If you believe what's in the Bible literally (specifically Revelation), yes, that's a truth. Along with a lot of other bad things for Christians.

"Halloween started with the Druids in the British Isles."

Kindof right. He obviously didn't do a whole lot of research, or he really really oversimplified his research into one sentence. There are actual accounts of the Druids in the dawn of the Roman Empire coming to the British Isles practicing human sacrifice however this was not common practice, however, but a new strain of thought among the celts. If you read through the many different accounts of the Legend of King Arthur, you'll find some of these accounts mentioned in there. Usually these human sacrifices were volunteers however, at least from the accounts I've read. (Don't try to peg me down on this, it's been a long time since I've read about this and if you try to argue me on it, I'll likely just concede the point -- it was from a reliable source where I read it, not just propaganda however).

"These guys were really spooky."

An opinion. Hey man, maybe they were spooky to Mr. Chick.

"Halloween ... glamorizes the powers of darkness, drawing in little kids."

Truth. When else do you see kids dressed up as what would usually be considered things of evil (i.e. undead, satan, etc).

"Satanic sacrifices are a slap in God's face."

Umm... to say the least.

Mr. Chickacola talks about some facts about getting to heaven which are generally theologically correct -- they are straight from the bible and really can't be disputed by any real theologan.

Note: this is the paragraph I was talking about to read if you skipped any of the above part that you need to read before sending hate mail.

NOW, the problem in Mr. Chick's logic is that he groups witches and satanists into the same camp.

The logic that Mr. Chick tries to use to put human sacrificers, ancient and current, is flawed. He puts true facts about both groups together to indicate that what society today considers a witch still practices human sacrifice to play on societal fears. And he also falls in to a common theological trap that many blind Christians follow into, and that is fear of the unknown. Read on.

Granted, in Leviticus, there is the verse where it is mentioned in Hebrew law "..suffer not a witch to live."

From this verse alone, a God-fearing Christian might think that we are to stone or not talk to our pagan friends because it might keep us from going to heaven. Christian friends, I say to you, please don't think this and let me tell you why! (hee hee, I shoulda been a preacher).

Something that is essential to know as a Christian and that many people don't bother to learn is that many of the things written in the Old Testament of the Holy Bible don't apply to us a Christians. Granted, most of the general principals do, but in the Old Testament, there are a number of laws and regulations that were broken upon God's gift of the Christian covenant.

In this case, the law God gave to the Hebrews by way of Moses saying "suffer not a witch to live" no longer applies in the same way the commandment "Honor the Sabbath and keep it holy" no longer applies to Christians.

"Huh?!?" I collectively hear. Yes it's true. Think about it. Jews, the Hebrew, were commanded on a stone tablet actually written by God to keep the seventh day holy in remembrance of God's original rest on the seventh day in the creation story. That's Saturday. Do we go to church traditionally on Saturday? Hrmm? No, I bet if you go to church, you go on Sunday. That's a tradition brought about by the original 12 deciples and Jesus himself.

What does that mean? It means nothing except to demonstrate that we as Christians are no longer bound by all the rules and regulations set forth originally by God. Instead, God gave us the most important commandment, "Love the Lord God with all your body, spirit, and mind, and love your neighbor as yourself." If you follow that law, that pretty much keeps you in line with all the important stuff. (i.e. stealing, killing, etc.)

So, keeping that law in mind, does it make sense to shun, kill, maim, persecute, run out of town, either by hand, proxy or assistance witches or other non-believers? No, people, that is not the way to win friends and influence people.

That's more or less why I get sick when I read stuff like this, because any chance I have of making intelligent friends and them not thinking I'm an idiot for being a Christian is pretty much gone because they think I believe like this Jack Chick guy or many Christians who will actually force pagans and witches and stuff out of their town altogether! And think about it, if you really are a Christian, don't you want to save everyone's soul that you can? That includes witches and pagans, and if you treat them like sh!t, they ain't gonna like what you have to say.

For those of you who were totally bored by what I had to say, please just humor me and don't tell me I'm boring. I went to seminary after I left highschool for a while and I get into talking about this sort of thing. Plus, education isn't a totally bad thing. The less stupid people in the world the better, right?

Keep that in mind and happy halloween.

Love, Rizzn

Quote of the Entry: "I don't want the cat as my sacrifice! I want Carrie!
- the Great Pumpkin played by the Debil himself!