As a note to you non-MySpacers, don't think that this sort of intelligent discourse happens all the time on MySpace. This is a pure anomaly.
The original post is noted by italics and responses after that.
I'm in a typing mood today. I saw this post from Mel, one of my very dear friends (and a lesbian herself), and I had to comment. I ask that you read everything I write before you flame the crap out of me (especially the part at the end. I'm not writing to defend gay-haters).Just some random thoughts after the fact: I really expected to be flamed hardcore for this (and I still might get it), but I did get several letters from people saying that they appreciated the 'sanity' being injected into the debate.
1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
Being gay is not technology, either. Gay is a term for a behavior pattern. A more apt comparison would be suicide as an unnatural thing that "Real Americans" reject. Suicide is a behavior, and it is inherently unnatural, and most Americans currently reject it, polls show.
Incidentally, air conditioning was rejected as a 'dumb idea' when it was first invented. That's neither here nor there, though.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
Again, gay marriage, an activity people engage in, is a behavior or a symptom of behavior. Being tall is not a symptom of anything in particular. You cannot encourage someone to be tall. You can encourage other people to engage in certain behaviors just by being around them. Everyone has a sociological need to be accepted, and if being gay is accepted by the whole of society, it will eventually encourage others to be gay for the acceptance value of the activity.
Being a punk or a goth isn't a socially accepted norm, yet tons of youth fall into that category because they can't find acceptance in other social circles. I'm not saying this is a negative or positive thing, it just is.
Besides, we all know a few 'poser' lesbians, if you're in the Tyler scene. Case in point!
3) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.
Marriage is one of the principal foundations of law and order. The family unit is the smallest social group, and the building block of society. By changing the definition of our legal foundations, we are by definition changing the foundation of society.
The same thing happenned in the 50s when America defined the 'nuclear family.'
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
In many states, it's very easy to trace the way the law treats men and women differently because it may not seem like it now, but as recently as 50 years ago, these laws were still on the books, and most judges we have today were alive 50 years ago.
As recently as 20 years ago, I'm told, it was still legal to arrest someone for being a Gypsie (which is an actual race of people). If we still have legislated racism in the books in some places, then yes indeed its going to be a tough road to re-define the social building block of America, especially when the majority doesn't have the political will to do so.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
To most Americans, we value marriage for what it is - the ultimate committment you can make to another individual you truly love.
Some Americans, however, see it as a gift from God, and as it is a gift from Him, it is defined by Him, and how dare we re-define it?
These are the same people who tend to oppose there being laws allowing for divorce except in the most extreme of circumstances. Many of you are too young to realize this, but before Gay Marriage was a buzzword, during the 80s and 90s these same people fought for a strengthening of marriage laws and heavy legislation on divorce laws.
They lost, of course.
And these same people see their definition of marriage being dilluted further. You can sort of understand their slippery slope concept now, yes?
6) Marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
There are very few, if any, orphanages in America. Most children are adopted straight from birth. There are long lines of people wanting to adopt children so that the agencies get to set the rules on who adopts, without laxening their standards.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
The problem some people have with gay parents raising children isn't a matter of the children being brought up gay, but rather being brought up with the idea that it's ok to be gay. To many Americans, being gay is one of the worst sins one can commit, and to have institutionalized sin is definitely not a good thing in their minds.
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
No, but we live in a representative democracy here in America. When you live in a representative democracy, the rules of law should reflect the values of those who live there.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
No, but studies show that children raised outside of a situation where there is a 'traditional family', i.e. one with a strong male and strong female influence, that children have a much harder time of life and achieving success by secular measures (i.e. high paying jobs, higher education, and fulfilling family life).
There are always exceptions to the rule. I'm sure you can think of several people, just like I can, who break that mold.
10) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
Again, refer to my previous response on the slipery slope idea.
Final Thoughts: I know I'm taking a huge risk of being fire-branded here by writing these things, but it's a topic everyone's afraid to tackle in polite company. These days you can say just about anything in defense of a minority group and it's written off as 'oh they're just supporting (insert minority here)."
I write to illustrate the point to people who want to really support minorities of two things:
1) Know your facts if you engage in debate.
If you engage in the debate for or against anything, and you throw up completely humorous or not very well thought out reasoning, you give the other side the opportunity to knock down your arguments with great ease, and make your side look worse for the wear.
More than likely, you end up enflaming the other side, and lose any chance to convince anyone, because you'll both end up name calling by the end of the day. I've seen it happen a million times.
2) Don't assume just because you're right that you're right about everything. The other side may be right about somethings, too.
This is just as important. If you're wrong on something - concede it! If you think they're wrong, try to prove how they're wrong (like I have above). But don't go into a debate 100% convinced you can't be wrong. Chances are, you are wrong about a lot of stuff. I know I am all the time.
The trick is to recover with grace and aplomb.
My Solution to This Debate
If you've read this far, you might as well finish. I personally am opposed to Gay Marriage, and my religious beliefs tell me that being Gay is wrong.
I DON'T believe that the government should have authority to tell people that. In fact, I don't believe the government should have the authority to regulate marriage at all - the only reason they do currently is so that they can collect money for licenses, assign tax breaks for certain kinds of families and to look good on election day.
Marriage is a religious and social contract. From a legal perspective, it is no different than entering into a business partnership - the only true meaning it has is spirtual. Spiritualism is not the realm of law, it is the realm of religion. If you can find a religion that will marry you and your cat, go for it. If you can find a religion that will marry you and your gay lover (there are plenty of them out there), do it.
Don't legislate it though. Don't put it in the constitution. And don't tell me how I can and cannot get married. As a Freedom Loving American - I respect your right to get married to whomever or whatever you want.
But we must change our laws to reflect this. There is no way that America will pass laws regulating or allowing gay marriages. But there is a chance that the Gay lobby and the Christian lobby will unite to put the power of marriage back where it belongs - in the hands of religious institutions.
On a side note, this is a theory supported by most Libertarians, and is one of the minor issues my friend T. Evan Fisher is running on this year for state congress. He recently spoke at a gay rally and brought up these issues and the need for de-regulation of marriage.
As for my religious beliefs, which I briefly mentioned, I think it bears explanation the root of my belief in that, because I could still quite easily be branded a hate-monger (I have lost friends over this topic as well as jobs, and I want to make quite clear that I am not).
I believe it's pretty easy to find in the Christian Bible some words from God on homosexuality - I don't need to provide references on that, I think the very fact we call it sodomy (named after a town God destroyed) should speak to what the Bible teaches about homosexuality.
However, I allow for the fact that I may be wrong on that. In fact, there are only three things in the Christian belief structure that I don't allow for being wrong on:
1) That you must love the Lord your God with all your being.
2) That you must love your neighbor as yourself.
3) That you must know that Salvation through Jesus Christ is the only way to God.
These are the tenants to what I refer to as the Christian Covenant. I think that debate on any of the other topics that Christians hold as dogmatic beliefs is a healthy and good thing, because popular opinion on what is or isn't a sin can very well change by popular opinion or what is a societal norm, sometimes.
But the only person's behavior I'm personally accountable for is my own. If asked my opinion on what is or isn't a sin, I will tell it, and say why. But I don't think the government nor the church has the right to enforce punishment for said sins. Vengence is Mine, sayeth the Lord. Not Rizzn's or Joe Blow's. It belongs to the Lord. He's the final judge, not me.
In that vein, it is how I can remain friends with, and love people as friends and family even if I don't agree with their lifestyle choices or their behavior patterns.
All that said, I'm getting back to work. Lots to do.
/rizzn
No comments:
Post a Comment