bouncing baby quarters on Spanish Day!

Dear la Diaria,

Today is Spanish day. For I decree it.

On this day you will think fondly upon the Spanish and all the wonderful things they gave us for at least 3 and 1/2 minutes.

Think about, um, the Spanish Armada! and umm, the Conquistadors! yeah!

oh and 'Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!'

(theme from jeopardy plays)

Ok times up.

/rizzn

Quote of the entry: "bliss is special she has an encyclopedic knowledge base of facts which are eclectic yet usefull. and shes got an ass you can bounce quarters off of. "
- dread

Do you want to *dance*?

Dear Diary,

This letter to you, diary, is a result of reading Malkavia's entry today.

Apparently she is getting laid off as is everyone in her office. In 6 months.

I was going to talk about how crappily I got laid off last time I got laid off, but I hated that job anyways, so it really is a moot point.

However I have come to the conlusion that Malk shouldn't worry about what her next job should be. She should make a move for the corporate world. Crackbaby and I had this discussion on the way home from work yesterday. A discussion that causes me to amend my theory on college.

My original theory is thus: no one needs to go to college. college is a crock of sh!t that wastes your money and time the you could be using to be more ahead of the game in the real world.

Now my theory is this: go ahead! go to college! All it does is make me look better that everyone around me went to college and is performing the same job I am doing, except they suck at it. Plus it will make it easy for me to impliment my evil plan.

Infiltrate Corporate America.

It's really easy, I don't understand why no one has done it before.

Corporate americans don't do anything. Look at me and Crackbaby. We jack off with both hands for eight hours a day and get paid 50k a year for it. The way I figure (and I have it on good authority that this is true), people managing people who don't do anything must do even less.

So why am I here getting paid a measly 50k a year with no people to boss around when I can be getting paid 185k a year and have up to 80 people to boss around ... for doing nothing.

It's all about fabrication on your resume.

Literally, diary, I'm not joking around here. All you gotta be able to do is play the mind games, that are called 'politics'*. And trust me diary, it's not hard.

So don't worry where your next job is going to be. Just go thru the paper, go thru monster, pick something with a majorly high salary, make sure it has to do with management, and you are set for an easy ride.

---

*poli - tics : poli comes from the greek root word for many, and of course tics as we all know are blood sucking arachnids.

/rizzn

Quote of the Entry: I am not *frumple*.

- Arilouis aka Crackbaby.

Noggin ouchies

Dear Diary,

I'm not going to mention who I got this idea from because frankly if that person read what I think about it, they might get offended.

But to think that one should be proud that one has simply survived another day? Ha!

The world is populated with billions of people who simply survive. What good are they? What impact do they have on your life?

You can't tell me because you don't know.

These people simply surviving from day to day are so self interested in their own preservation that they don't concern themselves with helping their fellow man.

These same people who are so concerned about their self-preservation are the ones who preach about the undying nature of the Human Spirit.

Bah!

"I believe in human creativity."

Yeah sure, I can agree with that.

"I believe in human capacity."

Ambiguous, but hard to disagree with for that reason.

"I believe in the human mind."

Yep. It exists as well.

"I believe in the human spirit."

I believe we are inherently evil. A tendency towards the easy things in life, which is pleasure of ones self. Selfishness. Which by virtue of its existance leads to placing the cares of others behind your own. If you care at all about others.

"I believe in the ultimate beauty of the human soul."

No way. Not at all. Ultimate beauty of something which serves itself? Unless priorities are placed upon by an outside third pary of perfection to complete the soul, nothing truly good can come from a single human. Intermittant acts of goodness motivated by what is essentially greed can occur, but goodness and beauty cannot come from within.

"I believe in humanity."

Well, I believe it exists, anyway.

I dunno man. What do I know.

/rizzn

Quote of the Entry: "for this rizzn i firmly bring down the hammer o' crushing pain (tm) on your noggin ."

- dread

Basketball pumps up my ass.

Dear Mr. Diary,

Mr. Diary, you are almost one year old! Do you realize what this means? You are one year old in human years, 7 years old in dog years, and 420 years old in fruit fly years! I think that this should make you quite happy.

For a refreshing look at a neophyte's take on the corporate world, see my roommate's words for the day.

Excuse me, Jaime Garcia, the man who can't configure a com port, asks me to send him a 'special email.' Be right back.

Back now.

For those who email me, I'm sorry I haven't replied. Y'see, my buddie pally good old friend Ferrill (partner in Nutshell) decided to send our URL to a submission engine that SPAMS me with over 200 messages of CRAP a day.

So I miss messages, understandably.

So mark you messages HEY YOU DUMBBUTT RIZZN READ THIS! so I can read them.

I have a cell phone finally. For a week, I guess.

Y'think, working for a cell phone manufacturer .. not just any of them, but the Top Selling manufacturer NOKIA I might get a phone before 3 months of working with the company.

But no. I get one. On loan. After 3 months. For a week.

Heh... ohwell.

Oh, did I mention, that it only works inside the building?

Neet, eh?

/rizzn

Quote of the Entry: "What eludes me is what exactly did I think they were thinking before that? That someone shoved a basketball pump up my ass and blew me up a few pants sizes? "

- malkavia
[ed: sorry malk, with something like that in your diary, you can't expect it not to make qoe]

a bunch of stuff that says not a bunch

dear diary,

How are you this day?

I'm doing quite well, thank you.

I'm all moved in to my cubicle upstairs now, not in my office anymore. Sigh.

But on the other hand, I do have my own computer and telephone line. So all you peoples who want to call me can call me now. I'll try to find a toll-free number. :)

I am doing jack shiznit now. All my projects are over, there is no boss in site, and I'm just surfing the internet all day.

That's what I do. I get paid 50k a year to surf the web. Yay happy.

I think that I shall now go setup my laptop and play icewind dale.

For the record, *rawr* i think is how you describe kelly's new layout, right?

/rizzn

Quote of the Entry: "Okay, so that little outburst yesterday was quite unecessary. I think I need a doctor. Anywho, we are for real feeling functional today. Yippee!"

- kat

The entry in which rizzn defends himself and updates you on his life.

Dear Diary,

Apparently I am mean. Sorry.

Well, I finally pretty much finished my ringtone project. So I am back to jacking off for 8 hours a day. And the other day Crackbaby and I did the happy muthafugga dance when we learned of his hire at my company.

I'm kinda going to be his boss. *snigger*. This is going to be funny.

I'm really the only programmer around here that admits to knowing anything but Java, so anyone who programs will be assigned to me.

Which reminds me to tell you .. I'm not sure if I let you folks know I was going to go to Finland. YEah, they had me scheduled to go there and learn from some phone engineers and stuff with my company (Nokia). But they cancelled my trip.

But yesterday due to a presentation I gave about how bad ass I was at programming by myself on my project, I earned a day off for the whole team on my project. So any day we want, we can just take a day off.

So like, either next friday or the friday afterwards, we are going to head out to Chicago, the Blackman and I to take care of some of *my* company's business.

Which reminds me, I own a hosting company. If you want to be on it, I can hook you up with some really cheap rates. I think I'm going to come up with a d'lander rate for some stripped down domain name stuff.

Go to here and check out our NappyAssTempHomePage (TM) that we have up until the real site is done (we hired a company to do our corporate image thing -- expect to see commercials in a few months).

If the prices are too high or something, or if you want other services, give me an email an i'll hook you up.

--- end commercial ---

So if anyone wants to see what rizzn looks like in chicago, um, meet me there and I'll show you. or you'll see, and run away screaming. or something.

anyway, I'm going to walk around with papers in my hands until the next meeting so people think I'm busy.

/rizzn

Quote of the Entry: "Something's boring me. I think it's me."

- kat

Robots will destroy the humanoids. The humanoids will not destroy the robots.

Dear Diary,

Yay freakin happy. What big news could Diaryland have of interest to me? Are they going to send a pretty girl to my aid of my every desire? I think not.

I was sitting in my friend Josh's car the other day, driving back from Taco Bell, staring at the ice cold cup of mountain dew in my hands, and noticing that the "other" tab was pushed down.

Have you ever wondered what the other tab means?

A couple friends of mine and I did, and I think we finally figured it out. A couple friends from the ol' home town and I were on vacation in Colorado once, and we noted that my buddy Jeff always drinks beverages marked 'other' and he always has to piss. I mean always. He has the bladder retention of a 90 year old. Or a 3 year old depending on how you look at it.

So other must mean piss.

So I smiled as I rode home drinking an Ice Cold Cup o' Other.

I hope that makes you remember me and Jeff next time you get a soft drink. :)

/rizzn

Quote of the Entry: "Oh wait... I'm not really after that. I keep forgetting, though I may get the hooker for Phitt, who's continued obsession with Packets of Vagina are deemed to be unhealthy by Surgeon Generals across the world."

- crackbaby

Bonus Quote of the Entry: "Jesus tastes like chicken."

- dirty a sid's little 2 year old kid mattie, God save her soul.